Rubber band 
There's a rubber band that plays tunes out of tune 
In the library garden Sunday afternoon 
While a little chappie waves a golden wand 
 
Rubber band 
In 1910 I was so handsome and so strong 
My moustache was stiffly waxed and one foot long 
 
And I loved a girl while you played teatime tunes 
 
Dear Rubber band, you're playing my tunes out of tune, oh 
 
Rubber band, Won't you play a haunting theme again to me 
 
While I eat my scones and drink my cup  
of tea 
 
The sun is warm but it's a lonely afternoon 
Oh, play that theme 
 
Rubber band 
How I wish that I could join your Rubber band 
We could play in lively parks throughout the land 
And one Sunday afternoon I'd find my love 
 
Rubber band 
In '14-'18 war I went to sea  
Thought my Sunday love was waiting home for me 
 
And now she's married to the leader of the band, oh 
[spoken] 
Oh sob: I hope you break your baton