in the jukebox of her memory 
the list of names flips by and stops 
she closes her eyes 
and smiles as the record drops 
 
then she drinks herself up and out 
of her kitchen chair 
and she dances out of time 
as slow as she can sway 
for as long as she can say  
this dance is mine 
this dance is mine 
 
her hair bears silent witness 
to the passing of time 
tattoos like mile markers 
map the distance she has gone 
winning some, losing some 
she says my sister still calls every sunday night 
after the rates go down 
and i can never manage to say anything right 
my whole life blew up 
and now its all coming down 
 
and she says leave me alone 
tonight i just wanna stay home 
she fills the pot with water 
she drops in the bone 
she says, i've got a darkness that i have to feed 
i've got a sadness 
that grows up around me like a weed 
and i'm not hurting anyone 
i'm just spiraling in 
as she closes her eyes 
and hears the song begin again 
 
she appreciates the phone calls 
the consoling cards and such 
she appreciates all the people 
who come by and try to pull her back in touch 
they try to hold the lid down tightly 
and they try to shake well 
but the oil and water 
just want to separate themselves 
 
she drinks herself up and out of her kitchen chair 
and she dances out of time 
as slow as she can sway 
for as long as she can say 
this dance is mine 
this dance is mine 
this dance is mine