Trapper ain't got a bird and we all ain't suprised,
'cos he's really shit ugly and he's got four eyes. 
He aint got big muscles, he's got no hairy chest, 
he has to go to bed at seven and he has to wear a vest. 

Trappers got no bird, Trappers got no bird, Trappers got no bird, and don't we know. 
Trappers got no bird, Trappers got no bird, Trappers got no bird, he's got B.O. 

He's got no sex appeal and a fucking great big nose, 
he's got really bad breath and his IQ's really low. 
He is really very ugly lots of spots and scabs to pick, 
the girls don't' wanna know him 'cos he makes them all feel sick. 

I only joined the group to attract the other sex, 
to my wonderful body and my huge biceps. 
I am much better looking than any of these three, 
although they've all got the same problem as me. 

We ain't got no birds, and we don't care. 

Oi! Now i'm divorced I'll be able to go for loads and loads of birds, 

Shit one Trapper ! 

I think i'll go down the disco tonight and pick one up. 

Be alright if its dark ! 

What a cringe this song is.