let's go  
 
one man at the window  
one girl at the bar  
saw that look of recognition  
when they know just who you are  
i seen you on the tv  
i seen you on that show  
you make the people crazy  
and then you let them go  
 
before the show we calm them  
we sympathise, we care  
and the hostile folk we keep apart  
'til the red light says 'on air'  
did you see our leather lovers  
all tied up to the chair  
did you catch those child molesters  
no one else goes there  
 
what a show, the barry williams show  
what a show,  
dysfunctional excess  
is all it took for my success  
the greater pain that they endure  
the more you know the show will scored  
it's showtime  
 
got the reputation of a surgeon  
'cos they cannot feel the cut  
it looks so very simple  
but it really is an art  
they call our studio 'the hospital'  
making money from the sick  
we let people be themselves  
there is no other trick  
 
'my lover stole my girlfriend'  
'i keep beating up my ex'  
'i want to kill my neighbour'  
'my daughter's selling sex'  
'my s/m lover hurt me'  
'my girl became a man'  
'i love my daughter's rapist  
'my life's gone down the pan'  
 
what a show, the barry williams show  
the barry williams show  
dysfunctional excess  
is all it took for my success  
and when the punches start to fly  
the ratings always read so high  
it's showtime  
 
'that girl has got no scruples'  
not a wrinkle on her face  
you would not believe the plot she conceived  
so they'd let her take my place  
well, no man is an island  
no man is a sea  
but this display of emotion  
is all but drowning me  
 
what a show, oh what a show  
on my show, the barry williams show  
it's my show  
what a show  
dysfunctional excess  
is all it took for my success  
 
the best tv you've ever seen  
where people say the things that they really mean  
i hear my name, i hear them roar  
for the one more time i take the floor  
just one more barry williams show  
we're gonna take you where you want to go  
it's showtime  
 
come on down  
come on down