it was the seventh of december in the middle of the night 
the street was deserted except for smoke and moonlight 
the front of the papers read the latest scandal 
the people versus when the dog chewed the handle 
it's a strange kind of story as far as stories go 
it's the tale of a man and his trusty fido 
with police to the left of him on the right a dead vandal 
the only excuse was that the dog chewed the handle 

with the stick de la candle 
or the study maybe strangled 
the professor with the pistol 
oh no the dog chewed the handle 

he's got his integrity don't need no excuse 
you can't say different got to let him loose 
the guy shouldn't've been there but he chose to gamble 
heads you win tails the dog chews the handle 

i suppose if i'd thought i shouldn't leave them together 
grip made of bone and a holster that's leather 
freak kind of accident that sets an example 
dogs like bones that's why the dog chewed the handle 

with the stick de la candle 
or the study maybe strangled 
the professor with the pistol 
oh no the dog chewed the handle 

oh look at it from my angle 
oh just look at it 

with the stick de la candle 
or the study maybe strangled 
the professor with the pistol 
oh no the dog chewed the handle x2 

oh look at it from my angle 
oh just look at it