If you think there's something wrong 
Holes appearing on your lawn 
Don't you blame the man next door 
It's not him 
 
Flowers walk from place to place 
Dark spot moves around your face 
Objects vanish without trace 
It's not you 
 
I'm the mole from the Ministry 
And you'll all bow down to me 
I'm the mole in your potting shed 
I'm the bad thoughts inside your head 
And you won't catch me 
 
(Fish and visitors smell after three days) 
If you thinks there's something strange 
Garden starts to rearrange 
From perfect lawn to mountain range 
It's not you 
 
I'm the mole from the Ministry 
Working underground 
And you'll all bow down to me 
Moving facts and figures all around 
I'm the mole in your potting shed 
Undermine your world 
I'm the bad thoughts inside your head 
And you shouldn't think me, No! 
And you shouldn't think me 
Mole 
Mole 
Mole