Momma tole me, "Boy, you best behave,
'Cause Santa keeps a list of all his favs.
And if you don't shape up, you ain't gettin' squat."
But the devil on my shoulder's gettin' hot.

Hotter than Heaven, Cool outta sight.
If I'm gonna do wrong, I'm gonna do it right.

So he took me for a ride in 'is Cadillac,
Stolen from a cleptomaniac, at a horse-race track.
I said, "Sir, it's Christmas Eve'eople should be home in bed."
Instead, he said,
"You merry gentle men always bet on red."

The Duke of Deception, Malice, and Spite.
If I'm gonna do wrong, I'm gonna do it right.

When you're done, you're really done.
We look back and say, Hey, that was fun.
When all you wanted was a BB gun,
Santa Claus never did come.

{Interlude}

When you're done, you're really done.
We look back and say, Hey, that was fun.

So he took me for a ride in 'is big ol' sleigh.
We flew around the world in just one day.
Johnny Mathis sang.

I said, "Sir, what you got for me in that sled?"
Instead, he said,
"Boy, you been bettin' on a darker shade of red."

Hotter than Heaven, Cool outta sight.
Duke of Deception, Malice, and Spite.
Johnny is singin',
(Johnny is singin',)
"Remember tonight:
If you gotta do wrong,
You better do it RIGHT."